How do you use questions to drive toward deeper relationships? Good question.

Good questions was topics presented to a group of our C3 Forum Chairs during the Global Leadership Summit in Chicago earlier this month.  They were presented by Vanessa Van Edwards, founder of Science of People. Today, she leads the team in producing the best social skills advice.

Vanessa told us the good leaders think about metrics but “Great leaders also think about connections, just not just logistics.” In C3 Leaders, we work with a bunch of great leaders!

We hope you find out learning helpful as you work to connect in our community.

Questions for Level 1: Start Small

• Have you read anything interesting lately?
• Do you belong to any organizations?
• Who is your celebrity crush?
• What is an average day like for you?
• Do you do any volunteerism or charitable work?
• What is your favorite/dream travel destination?
• Tell me about the best and worst parts of your day.
• When you visit your hometown, what is the one place you have to stop at?
• Do you have any pet peeves?
• What does your ideal weekend look like?

These questions help make a connection. They are small talk. We can get stuck in autopilot. It’s impossible to truly connect at this level.

Most of us live, exist in level one questions. Van Edwards encourages us to go deeper.

Questions for Level 2: Ice Breakers

This is where we start to break the social script. We think about goals, worries, values. Be a leader by starting your questions at this level with one of these…

• What skill or talent have you always wanted to master?
• Who is the most fascinating person you’ve ever met?
• Would you rather have the ability to speak any language or speak to animals?
• If you could pick a superpower, what would it be?
• Would you rather take several weekend getaways or one extravagant vacation?
• What do you do that other people think is annoying?
• Do you have any guilty pleasures?
• What is your most irrational fear?
• If you could solve one global crisis what would it be?
• What is the best gift you’ve ever given or received?

Questions for Level 3: Connection Builders

Finally, with level three questions, you start to build connection. This is where narratives begin to develop and relationships deepen. Try these questions…

• What is your favorite book of all time?
• Tell me about your best friend.
• What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime?
• Are you close with your family?
• What do you love most about your work?
• Do you have any side-hustles or passion projects?
• How do you want your legacy to be remembered?
• What is the one thing that will put you in a good mood, no matter what?
• Who is the most influential person in your life?
• What is your primary Love Language?

We are not operating alone, it’s why many of us are in a C3 Forum.

Start to ask good questions. It’s not just about learning, it’s about connecting.